Celebrating Two Births

Today we celebrate Mark's day of birth and what an amazing 32 yrs he has had so far. I have only had the privilege of knowing him for his last 11 years but what an incredible time that has been. I love this man with all my heart and I'm so grateful to the Lord for bringing us together and continually growing our relationship. There are so many qualities I love about Mark; his sense of humor, tenderness, compassion, boldness and devastatingly handsome good looks. Mark is truly everything I could have dreamed for in a husband but so much more. Babe - I love you so much and am so thankful to God, Bing & Debbie for bringing you into the world on this day!

The second birth we celebrate today is the birthing of a new chapter in our story of adoption. We turned in all our paperwork to the agency today which begins our 2 month home study process which hopefully leads to us being certified adoptive parents! Then, we wait.... Wait for the call from the agency that there is a birth mom that wants to meet us or that there is a baby at the hospital that is ready to come home with us. Basically, we are within possibly months of having a baby! This is exciting and terrifying all at once as I'm sure any of you with children can attest to. I had a dream last night that I think sums up my feelings about this journey we are launching into......

In my dream I was getting on a roller coaster and was really nervous but wanted to go on the ride. I had a friend with me who was sort of a combination of a few people in my life who remained in her seat, calm, peaceful and ready to go where the ride takes her. I on the other hand was having a complete panic attack! I didn't think my seat belt was fastened properly so I kept screaming to the guy not to start the ride, I wasn't ready! He came over and sure enough, I was belted in just fine but there were all these other belts around me that I wanted to use too but couldn't find anywhere to attach them. He assured me that the one that I had over my lap would work just fine and that I was secure and had nothing to worry about.
The ride started, click click click went the coaster up the giant hill. My heart was racing, I wanted to tell them to stop so I could get off but at the same time I was really excited to be on the ride. I closed my eyes as tight as I could, grabbed onto the seat and off we went down the first big drop. I screamed OH SH#@! Nice right? I was completely terrified and thought oh no, I can't do this, I'm not going to make it! I look over at my friend and there she is, cool as a cucumber, looking around enjoying every minute. I started to relax a little and then all of a sudden I was loving the ride, laughing, yelling and just having the best time! There was a moment when we came up to the top of another drop and I could see the whole city around me, it was beautiful. The words of our pastor's message on Sunday rang in my head "don't be so focused on the destination that you forget to enjoy the journey". For the rest of the roller coaster ride there were moments of sheer terror but more moments of incredible joy and in both emotions I was enjoying the journey for all it was worth.

I think that sort of sums up how I'm feeling about our adoption process. We are at the click click click part of the roller coaster, starting up the hill only to launch out into the great unknown where undoubtedly there will be moments of incredible excitement, great fear and unspeakable joy! I'm beyond excited about what the next few months will hold for us and I know that with Jesus, Mark and I all on this ride together it will be a great ride indeed!